Writing through adversity

One day in mid-October, 2020, 48-year-old postpartum caregiver Shi Hongli experienced the darkest moment of her life — she was diagnosed with breast cancer and initially told she "had only a few months to live".

"When I saw the diagnosis, I was filled with panic and completely devastated for two reasons. First, not having finished my novel was the biggest blow. Second, the high medical costs were overwhelming, especially since my husband had been in poor health for many years," the 54-year-old said at a book-sharing event at the Capital Library of China in Beijing in late May, where she was talking about her first book, Niangniang Yongmeng (Auntie, Fearless), which was published by Shanghai People's Publishing House earlier that month.

Returning to her home province of Sichuan in Southwest China for treatment, memories from her years of traveling flooded her mind. She realized her life was beset with challenges: Her parents were elderly, her husband was chronically ill, and her dreams were unfulfilled. She began using her phone to record her past experiences: the migrant workers in Beijing's Picun village, fellow patients sharing her plight, and the joys and sorrows of ordinary people in both urban and rural areas. These reflections became material for her writing and a significant part of the book.

In the Southwest dialect, niangniang is a term used to refer to older women, similar to "auntie". It also conveys a distinct personality, as these women are often bold, straightforward and resilient. Shi is such a niangniang.

Born in a small village in Jianyang, Sichuan province in 1971, Shi dropped out of school while still a grade-two student at a senior middle school. After getting married, she first worked in the fields before moving to Chengdu, the capital of the province.

In Chengdu, she worked as a kitchen helper, a ticket scalper, a stall owner, a shoe polisher, a premium postpartum caregiver and later a runner for a caregiver agency. After the agency went bankrupt, she moved to Beijing to continue her career as a postpartum care worker.

Unlike most migrant workers who often passed their time playing cards, Shi spent her free moments reading and writing. As a result, she was frequently mocked as "impractical" not only by her fellow caregivers but also by landlords and employers.

Between 2015 and 2016, this derision affected Shi so much that she sold her cherished collection of old books out of spite, since "they did not bring me any income". Rather than writing, in her free time, she would chat, stroll with friends, and play cards, deliberately pushing herself to stay away from anything related to literature.

However, after a year of drifting aimlessly, she couldn't shake the emptiness and frustration inside her. Ultimately, she found herself drawn back to the written word, a passion she had nurtured from childhood.

Shi's maternal grandfather was a performer of pingshu (traditional Chinese storytelling) so her mother grew up surrounded by stories and operas. Shi's family owned many Chinese classics, and their copy of Dream of the Red Chamber was a thread-bound edition. Shi's mother would tell them stories from pingshu and traditional operas, and would also recite poems from Dream of the Red Chamber.

"When she recited the lines 'Three hundred and sixty days a year, the wind and frost and sharp swords press hard upon me', she would often shed tears," Shi said, adding that as a child, she herself would often be asked to tell stories to villagers. Shi would vividly recount the stories her mother had taught her from pingshu scripts and operas. Later, she named her daughter after a character from Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Shi is also a great fan of foreign literature, reading classical works including Gustave Flaubert's Madame Bovary, Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, James Joyce's Ulysses, Homer's The Iliad, and Goethe's Faust.

In middle school, Shi and her friends once tried to write their own works of fiction, but as life took its course, writing together became a thing of the past.

However, the dream of writing remained dear to Shi's heart. Besides reading, she has kept diaries since senior middle school about her life and her work, learning more and more about reading and writing from the literature classes held in Picun village.

Located in the Jinzhan township in Beijing's Chaoyang district, Picun is home to migrant workers and established the Picun Literature Group in 2014. Over the last 12 years, the group has offered regular activities, including a free literary lecture every Saturday evening. Over 150 scholars, journalists and editors have volunteered to teach.

"The literature group continues to provide a free cultural space for workers and uses literature as a medium to give laborers a channel to express their lives. More importantly, it helps ordinary people build confidence in their writing abilities," said volunteer teacher Zhang Huiyu, an associate professor from the School of Journalism and Communication of Peking University.

In April 2017, an article by migrant worker Fan Yusu caught Shi's eye, prompting her to join the group, where she learned writing techniques, imagery, and how to use adjectives and adverbs judiciously while keeping her prose concise.

More importantly, being part of the group allowed her to relax and talk freely about literature without being dismissed as an "oddball".

"Although literature can't provide basic necessities like food and shelter, for me, it is a spiritual salvation, planting seeds of thought deep within. Unless I have work, I attend classes every Saturday without fail. The literature group is my spiritual home, my ideal world," she said.

As for the value of writing, she has a clear belief that when ordinary people document their daily lives, they are also documenting history.

In 2022, Shi's nonfiction article Yige Sichuan Yuesao De Jianghu Wangshi (The Tales of a Postpartum Caregiver from Sichuan) was included in a collection of works by the Picun Literature Group, Laodongzhe De Xingchen (The Workers' Stars), which was published by Shanghai People's Publishing House.

Shi's new book Niangniang Yongmeng includes essays such as Chengdu Train Station, Daughter, Chemotherapy, and Fellow Patients, casting a spotlight on the people she has encountered at different stages of her life: a millionaire from Beijing, ticket scalpers at a train station, a woman who dances to earn money to raise her daughter, a literature enthusiast in an unhappy marriage, a fortune-teller, fellow cancer patients, and a driving instructor with unfulfilled dreams. Together, they paint a vivid picture of modern life.

Shi's writing has heavy undertones, but her style is light and humorous.

"I don't want to just complain in my writing," she said. "It's important to offer readers some positive emotional value. Life is already filled with challenges, so who wants to read more complaints? Overall, life is beautiful and worth living, and we should hold on to hope."

Her writing has a classical charm, which she attributes to her early immersion in classical literature and the study of ancient Chinese.

Commenting on the book, Zhang Huiyu said that it is not merely an inspirational read about battling cancer. It fully documents the search for medical care, treatment, and the experiences of fellow patients, confronting pain and hardship, reflecting the common survival challenges of people in today's era.

"It is not just for the domestic worker community; readers who contemplate life and literature can find resonance and strength within its pages," he said.

Zhang Li, professor of Chinese language and literature at Beijing Normal University, said the book bursts with a wild, untamed vitality, featuring fresh and passionate writing that exudes an irrepressible life force.

"Its most striking characteristic is the 'fearlessness' between the lines, which shines through in the author's approach to confronting life's hardships directly. Despite facing numerous challenges, she writes about her experiences with honesty and ease, without self-pity or seeking sympathy," she noted.

When asked about her "fearlessness", Shi quoted Romain Rolland: "There is only one heroism in the world: to see the world as it is, and to love it."

Nearly six years have passed since Shi's cancer diagnosis. Just like the words on the cover of her book say, "Since life is meant to be lived, she chooses to live it fully. Spicy and flavorful, she has been defeated by life many times but never knocked down."

In addition to writing, Shi, with her genuine and relaxed demeanor, was chosen to play the role of a nanny in the recently released film It's OK. She has also taken to the stage at comedy nights to share her stories.

Now she is revising a novel about a century of changes in a rural village.

"My motivation for writing is simple: no matter how many hardships we face, the sun will still rise the next day. Literature is vast and profound, offering endless enjoyment. I know my writing has room for improvement, and I will continue to learn and create," she said.

Contact the writer at yangyangs@chinadaily.com.cn