Turning journals into jazz

For Pan, songwriting is inseparable from self-reflection. Her lyrics often emerge directly from her journals, while the melodies take shape at the piano — an instrument she began studying more seriously once she entered jazz. "Writing is a way of reaching a kind of reconciliation with myself," she says.

A pivotal moment in the album's journey came in November 2024, when Pan performed her original works live for the first time at The Stone, a distinguished New York venue. Leading her own ensemble, she shared the music with an audience that included friends from every stage of her life — childhood classmates, university peers and new connections from the city.

That night marked more than just a debut performance. It was the beginning of a deeper collaboration with her band, a group that would refine the material through rehearsals and workshops before entering the studio. In jazz, where fixed ensembles are rare, this sense of continuity gave the album a distinct intimacy.

During the recording process, Pan worked with drummer and producer Matt Wilson, whose experience and insight proved invaluable. As a first-time bandleader in the studio, she found herself balancing multiple roles: performer, composer and director. Wilson became a steady presence, offering real-time feedback and helping her focus on what mattered most: the emotional core of the music.

"What I found so intriguing about Chenxi's voice," says Wilson, "is that she connects with the music and her fellow musicians. She sings within the music, not over it. In addition, her voice aligns perfectly with her musical vision for each song, as she creates sonic atmospheres so passionately."

He continues, "Little Bells is so sweet, there's no way you can hear it and not smile. If Only for a Moment is stunning in its sheer beauty of the sonic landscape."

"Working and performing with Chenxi gives me great pleasure," says New York-based jazz pianist and composer A Bu, who also performed with Pan. "Her original music is full of vivid imagination. I especially like Little Bells, a well-crafted yet amusing work."

At the heart of Pan's artistry is her evolving relationship with improvisation. Initially, she approached it with a competitive mindset, constantly measuring herself against others. Over time, she let go of that impulse. "Now, improvisation is just about expressing what I feel at the moment," she says. "It's not about technique — it's about communicating something real."

Beyond music, Pan also paints, finding in visual art another way to process her experiences. The two practices feed into one another, expanding her sensitivity to texture, space and emotion.

This fall, Pan will further her studies at the Manhattan School of Music, pursuing a master's in jazz voice. In the summer, she also plans to launch a tour in Chinese cities, such as Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, and Beijing, to support her debut album.