In Chinese tradition, a man is supposed to give a cash gift to the girl’s family as a showcase of his sincerity and above all, wealth, before they finally get hitched. But today, many men find it increasingly difficult to afford such a price as their future parents-in-laws are demanding more and more.

An online posting attested to their anxiety. The posting, published by a man in a local BBS in Heze, Shandong province, said his younger brother had to offer 48,000 yuan ($7,613) or 68,000 yuan to the bride-to-be’s parents as a testimony of their engagement. To everyone’ surprise, one reply said in some places, the cash gift was weighed and counted like groceries. It had to be given in bills of 100￥denomination, and had to fetch up to 3.3 jin (a traditional unit of weight in China), or 1.65 kg, which amounted to 136,000 yuan.

There is no absolute standard for the amount of cash gifts and it varies with the economic development of certain areas. It was reportedly 30,000-50,000 yuan in Hunan, 50,000 -60,000 yuan in Suzhou and 60,000 yuan in Shanxi. In some areas, wujin liuyin were a must and the man had to give five golden accessories and 60,000 yuan in cash to the girl’s family.

The rapid growth of a cash gift hit where it hurt, as the average monthly wage of employees in the Chinese mainland was $656, or about 4,134 yuan, according to a survey published early this April by the United Nations International Labour Organization.