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Mom: simple education

2014-08-27 14:14:48

(China Daily) By Liu Zhihua

 

For example, she writes about "bad ideas" that are popular with young parents, such as ignoring babies when they cry to make them quiet. In doing so, the parents are actually making the baby feel abandoned and hurt, and this will cause life-long problems, Yin comments.

Also, many parents are too busy to take care of their children, and entrust their care to the grandparents. This breaks the natural bond between the children and parents, and may also cause education issues, Yin says.

The author urges parents to follow nature's path, such as adopting breast-feeding, respecting their children's dignity and liberty, and raising them without too much interference.

When children scrawl graffiti on walls and furniture, for instance, let it be, Yin writes in the new book. They are enjoying childhood, and sooner or later they will stop such behavior. But they will grow up rebellious if you forbid it.

Also, do not stress competitiveness. It will harm a child's physical and psychological well-being, making it hard to form friendships with other children and cooperate with them, Yin writes.

"The conflict between the tiger mother's child-rearing way and open and caring upbringing is often seen as a conflict between Eastern and Western cultures," Yin says.

"That is a shame. The difference in the two in my eyes is just that the former is bad education and the latter is good."

Yin uses her own daughter Yuanyuan as an example during the event. Since she was very young, Yin has never compared her with other children to improve her "competitiveness", or held high expectation, or forced her to do anything she doesn't want to do, to "make her independent".

"I accept all her flaws and mistakes, and I don't need her to be perfect," Yin says.

"She will acquire the necessary skills when she needs them, and all I expect from her is that she lives happily."

Her daughter recently graduated from an Ivy League university and works in Hong Kong. Her daughter made her own choices.

It is understandable that parents are anxious about their children's future, she says, and want the best for them. But childhood is a self-perfecting process as individuals grow to integrate into society, and undue interference from parents will actually harm the journey, Yin notes.

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